Chapter 6, An Unforgivable Little Secret

"Lan Xin, are you okay?" Liu Wen asked me with some concern after a moment of surprise. "To be honest, your reaction is not right. Lan Xin, my intuition never fails; you definitely like Xu Muchen. How much longer are you going to be hypocritical?"

Chen Ke ... ... what are your thoughts? I want to know, at this moment, what thoughts are occupying the mind of my best friend from seven years ago, who is sitting across from me.

Throughout the journey, Mo Yuchen was conversing with both me and Chen Ke. She was more nervous than us, as she was about to take the stage to perform shortly. Everyone in this vehicle was here to watch Mo Yuchen compete

What should I do? What should I do now?

It feels as if a sharp thorn has pierced through my heart, and I believe my smile must be quite forced at this moment

Oh? She gazed at me, her eyes reflecting a hint of nostalgia, and then her eyes slowly widened, her expression turning to one of great joy as she looked at me in disbelief, "You... you are..."

"I never expected to see Lan Xin again," Mo Yuchen said with a light laugh, "I am truly very happy."

Once, I did not understand why Chen Ke, who came from a well-off family, worked so hard at part-time jobs to earn money. However, after meeting Mo Yuchen, I now understand that she wanted to express her apology in this way

I am studying, she winked at me without showing any displeasure at my question, I run a shop during the day and attend night classes in the evening

"I will have my parents buy new dance shoes as soon as I get home, and I will compensate Yuchen for them," said Chen Ke

Is your way of atonement to use the money earned from various part-time jobs to buy the most expensive items in the Rainy Morning store

"Because, because..." Chen Ke's face turned bright red, and her gaze was very stubborn

On that day, she was supposed to be a rising star, but due to a pair of broken dance shoes, she fell from mid-air

So it is like this

In fact, every time I face Xu Muchen, I am forcing myself.

Xu Muchan, do you know? I like you, like you to the point of stomach pain, like you to the point of heartache

Chen Ke was taken aback, as if seeing my smile was something truly incredible

Ake, hurry up!

Many years later, among the three of us, only Mo Yuchen remains as she was in the beginning. Even though the original dream has faded, she still firmly holds onto her initial aspirations

That person is none other than Chen Ke. She is out of breath, clearly having rushed over all the way.

Is this considered moving on? I do not agree with Chen Ke's perspective. Chen Ke, if we do not properly confront the past and bid farewell to it, we will not be able to continue moving forward

I watched as the two individuals walked further away, eventually obscured by the crowd, and I could no longer find them, gently shaking my head

It is truly wonderful! Mo Yuchen's face broke into a radiant smile, her smile so innocent and pure that it seemed no amount of darkness could ever diminish it

Regardless, it is essential to bid farewell to the past properly. Only by saying goodbye can I have the courage to take a step forward

If I do not bid farewell to the past for a day, I cannot care for it for a day

Perhaps this is what life is like, one must always make choices. If all experiences are weighed heavily on the heart, then sooner or later, the heart will be unable to bear the burden

"If I don't tell anyone, where can I find the dance shoes?" I took the dance shoes from Chen Ke's hands; the only issue was that the shoelaces were broken, and there was no damage elsewhere.

This year during the winter vacation, Xu Muchen will not be returning with me, right

This time, I will definitely bid farewell to the past properly. Because I do not want to lose him, nor do I want to lose anyone.

She has always been a headstrong girl, always finding a way to get what she wants from her family. She must particularly like those dance shoes, so much so that she couldn't wait to get home and ask her parents for them, and instead secretly tried on Mo Yuchen's dance shoes to satisfy her craving.

For Mo Yuchen, whether it is studying or learning dance, both are hard-won opportunities. She cannot disappoint the expectations of others, nor can she betray her own dreams

On the day of the competition, I was resting in the changing room because I was tired. I accidentally fell asleep in the changing room, and when I woke up, I saw Chen Ke.

Mo Yuchen came in and looked around, but did not find me and Chen Ke, so he turned around and left

It is only now that I understand that there are not so many coincidences; rather, there is someone who always makes a heartfelt effort to come and meet me. Those seemingly accidental encounters, when I look up, he is always not far away, all of it was intentional. Unfortunately, at that time, I did not understand, or rather, I pretended not to understand

I nodded gently

01

I want the past to remain in the past" Chen Ke said softly, "Lan Xin, I do not wish to tell her about that matter

The door of the changing room closed again, and Chen Ke's face turned bright red as she lowered her head, feeling quite embarrassed

I want to tell her about that incident that happened in the past. I do not know what Chen Ke is planning, whether she intends to befriend Mo Yuchen nonchalantly, quietly atoning for her mistakes, or if she hopes to confess to Mo Yuchen one day

Among the three of us, Chen Ke comes from the best family background; she always has many new clothes, new hairpins, and her dance skirts are always the most beautiful. My family is of average means, and perhaps because of this, I have developed such a personality. On the other hand, Mo Yuchen's family is not well-off; the fact that she can study dance is already a result of her family's frugality in supporting her, which is why her dance skirts and shoes are always old.

It turns out that she is not only an excellent dancer, but her academic performance is also outstanding. In that moment, a sense of pride unexpectedly surged within me. Yes, even though we seem to be at odds with each other, I feel happy for her achievements.

Mo Yuchen's family is very poor, but she is very talented, so her family gritted their teeth and used the hard-earned savings to send her to learn ballet

Did she rush over because she knew I was coming to see Mo Yuchen

Previously, Chen Ke came to see me, perhaps hoping that I would confront Mo Yuchen

My heart aches faintly, I press my lips together and lower my head, in this watery deep night, my emotions surge and ebb.

Will you forgive me? Will you forgive the person who caused you to lose the hard-earned and crucial opportunity?

"Aren't you going to answer?" Liu Wen asked

"Why didn't ... ... go to university?" I couldn't help but ask, "Yuchen, your grades have always been the best among the three of us!"

Once, Mo Yuchen was beautiful, had excellent grades, and was an outstanding dancer. However, heaven is fair; for what it gives, it must take something away. What heaven took from Mo Yuchen was a wealthy family

But I still decided to share my thoughts with her

After listening, Chen Ke felt both afraid and angry

Guilt is like a seed, which was sown when I was in the sixth grade. Seven years is enough time for it to grow into a towering tree, thus overshadowing my entire world.

My hand holding the chopsticks has stiffened

"Lan Xin, which university are you attending?" Mo Yu Chen asked me

No one spoke first

Chen Ke asked me where the brave, stubborn, and cheerful Lu Lanxin had gone

05

Thank you

I pray in my heart, it must be steadfast

Because... I feel that it is too cunning for only me to attain redemption. She smiled helplessly, "Only I know that Yu Chen is doing well now, only I can come out in this way, this... is not acceptable, right?"

I want to make the stagnant hands of the clock move again, for those who love me all reside in the future

I truly did not expect to encounter you again! Lan Xin, you have no idea how much I have missed you, and I have also missed Chen Ke. Do you know? Chen Ke is also in this city, and she often comes to my shop. Mo Yuchen is genuinely very happy, and she pulled me into her little shop.

Time passed second by second, and I became increasingly uneasy. I felt that those dance shoes would definitely encounter a problem. This is a very bad intuition

The dance teacher noticed something unusual about me and promptly sent me to the hospital

I understand everything, yet I still feel fear and anxiety, afraid that he will truly give up, afraid that he will really shift that warm gaze away and bestow it upon another person

He will not. The image of him walking side by side with Luo Ningning has always felt like a thorn, piercing my heart

I dare not answer this call, or rather, I am feeling timid. Even if it is just for a moment, please allow me to escape for a little while. Because I am afraid of hearing the news from the phone that he is with Luo Ningning.

Wow! Mo Yuchen exclaimed, "A University is amazing! Lan Xin, you are truly impressive. I absolutely love A University. I used to think that I must get into A University. It's wonderful that Lan Xin has gone; my dream has somewhat been realized."

I recall the events that transpired during my last parting with him.

Because each time he approaches, it reminds me of that embarrassing summer afternoon when I made a mistake for some reason. And once I recall the consequences of that reason, my heart cannot help but tremble.

She finds it very difficult to wear, yet she is unable to put it on.

I understand, it is just a bit anxious

Later, I learned through various channels that Mo Yuchen had given up ballet, her parents had also divorced, and she had moved to another city with her mother. After that, I completely lost contact with her.

I glanced back at the throng of pedestrians behind me. Each person's face bore a different expression; some were amiable, some were irritable, some wore smiles, while others had furrowed brows. Everyone lives in their own world, and perhaps each person harbors unspoken secrets in their hearts. These secrets vary in significance; some are trivial, some are crucial, some are difficult to articulate, and some are amusing.

After class, the three of us went to practice dance together, and after finishing our practice, we went to drink large cups of milk tea. Time is being trampled underfoot, and we are growing up little by little

When she fell to the ground, I heard the sound of her dance shoe laces breaking

I was startled back to my senses, and right before me was Mo Yuchen's fair and beautiful face, smiling at me.

I met Mo Yuchen in the first grade of elementary school. At that time, I had just transitioned from kindergarten to elementary school, and everything was new and exciting. Back then, I was lively and cheerful, and there was nothing I was afraid to do

It cannot be, after all, it is such an important competition

But she worked very hard, and her grades gradually surpassed mine, and later even Chen Ke surpassed me. She became the most well-behaved child in everyone's eyes, putting in great effort in everything she did, striving to do her best in all endeavors

The tall stature of the young man, his ethereal demeanor, and his handsome appearance are enough to draw people's attention to him. The girl walking beside him has a curvaceous figure and a beautiful face; she seems destined to be with such a young man.

Ultimately, the feeling of worry prevailed. I covered my backside with my hand and quickly ran to the backstage.

Always present, that smiling Lu Lanxin lives in my heart, trapped in the cage of my emotions. I have given up all reasons for happiness, transforming myself into a version that is now unrecognizable.

"Why are you wearing Yu Chen's shoes?" I too felt somewhat at a loss. In a little while, we would be setting off to the competition venue with Mo Yu Chen. However, today both Chen Ke and I would be spectators, while Mo Yu Chen would be the participant

However, every child must grow up; it is impossible for us to remain so innocent and so simple forever

Indeed, it is necessary to have a serious conversation with Chen Ke, as he was also involved in that past. If forgiveness from Mo Yuchen is to be sought, it must be that both Chen Ke and I are forgiven together. If I were to step out alone, leaving Chen Ke trapped in the mire, that would be too much to bear

Later, I met Chen Ke in the dance class. She is very beautiful and dances exceptionally well; the dance teacher always encouraged us to learn from her. I was not convinced and constantly provoked her. At that time, I was fearless and unruly, like a little tyrant. As for Chen Ke, she was flamboyant and never paid me any mind.

The competition has begun, and the audience seats are filled with people

I spoke with Mo Yuchen for a while, and before leaving, I borrowed some coins from her. After exchanging phone numbers, I departed

"Well, are you going back now?" Chen Ke asked me

At that time, I did not understand, only now do I realize that Chen Ke did not want to tell others because her pride was at play. How could she possibly admit to secretly wearing Mo Yuchen's dance shoes? She is such a proud girl!

That truly is a pair of exceptionally beautiful dance shoes, which even a girl as spoiled as Chen Ke has never possessed.

Whether to apologize depends on us, and whether to forgive depends on Yuchen, doesn't it? I said softly

That carefree time has slowly slipped away

Should I refrain from informing Mo Yuchen due to Chen Ke's request? Chen Ke is my friend; is Mo Yuchen not one as well? If I tell Mo Yuchen, she certainly will not blame Chen Ke, as she has a very good temperament and is reasonable.

That's it! Chen Ke hurriedly sewed the shoelaces onto the shoes and then placed them back into Mo Yuchen's locker

What should I do? What should I do now? I will go home right now to get the money to buy it!" After saying this, Chen Ke rushed out.

After finishing lunch, we returned to the dormitory with our textbooks. Liu Wen and Guo Jiani kept trying to say some amusing things to cheer me up

I don't know. Chen Ke's gaze was somewhat chaotic, "Lan Xin, I have never thought about these things. I want to think it over carefully, please give me some time."

The examination for the transition from primary school to junior high school has arrived as scheduled

I brought it! Today we have a handicraft class, and I brought needles and threads!" Chen Ke hurriedly ran to her locker, rummaged through her backpack for the needles and threads, and quickly began sewing the shoelaces of her dance shoes

Indeed... Lanxin, you have not changed. She curved her lips into a smile and said to me, "Lanxin, let's find a place to sit down and have a good talk."

I am very anxious and worried in my heart; I long to run over and tell him my feelings, but it is not possible at this moment

"Yuchen, you too." I smiled slightly and said, "You still look as good as before."

At that age, we felt particularly ashamed of such matters

But everything has changed, the dance shoes are ruined, and Mo Yuchen's future has also been destroyed

There is a way! Chen Ke was slightly agitated, saying, "As long as we keep atoning for our sins, we will definitely be able to walk out!"

Until the start of high school

"Lan Xin!" Liu Wen, who was holding a textbook, suddenly tugged at my arm and said, "Look over there!"

Since you have already decided on the destination, just move forward calmly and unhurriedly. Liu Wen looked at me and said earnestly, "There is no need to rush; I believe that no matter how long it takes, Xu Muchen will be waiting for you."

Indeed, I originally planned to go back. I gave her a slight smile.

I looked in the direction she pointed, and there I saw a strikingly handsome couple walking side by side.

I left that exquisite little shop and arrived at the bus station, unexpectedly encountering someone.

"Yuchen, how about you? Is this store yours?" I did not see anyone other than her. Chen Ke told me that Mo Yuchen was right here, so the only conclusion I could draw was that she was the owner of this store

I believe what he said is not correct; liking someone without pursuing them must be due to other more important reasons. For example, I am so certain that Xu Muchen is the person I like. I have liked him for many, many years, but at this moment, I cannot follow in his footsteps

We found a café, each ordered a cup of coffee, and settled down in a quiet corner

If I run to find Mo Yuchen, everyone will see my embarrassment; but if I don't go to find Mo Yuchen, what will happen if there is a problem with the dance shoes

My heart suddenly ached, and I took a deep breath, trying to suppress this pain

Time seemed to stretch infinitely as I quietly glanced at Chen Ke. She sat motionless beside me, her body rigid, clearly as tense as I was

It is Xu Muchen. He should be the one who brought Xu You'er to participate in the competition. I recall that the dance teacher seemed to have mentioned that Xu You'er also participated in this competition and made it to the finals

I folded the dress neatly and placed it in a paper bag, thinking that I should find a time to return it to Xu Muchen

I never knew that our school was this large. For several consecutive weeks, I have not seen Xu Muchen.

After the class ended, Liu Wen and Guo Jiani took me out for a meal, but I was preoccupied the entire time

The thought of opening my eyes makes me sad, as you may no longer smile gently at me or speak softly to me, leaving me at a loss for what to do

The voice of the teacher came from outside, and we are about to set off

I must confront the deeply buried secret time within my heart

It was this sound that awakened Chen Ke, startling her so much that she twisted her ankle in her haste

The last time I saw Chen Ke was at the elementary school graduation ceremony. We were indifferent to each other, harboring mutual animosity, as neither of us was willing to take responsibility for that mistake, yet both had secretly passed judgment on ourselves.

Looking back, ever since I first met Xu Muchen in university, I have been able to see him almost every day. At that time, I thought the school was small, small enough that I could always encounter the person I wanted to see

This morning, with a feeling of apprehension, I went to school carrying my backpack, but did not see Mo Yuchen. The teacher said that Mo Yuchen has withdrawn from school

What should I do? She lowered her head and looked at the dance shoes on her feet, "I damaged the dance shoes. I... Can I still go buy a pair exactly the same to return to her in time?"

This is the second time I have seen them together Liu Wen's talent for gossip is once again on display Could it be that Xu Muchen has truly fallen for someone else

Tell Yuchen, or inform the teacher, to find a suitable pair of dance shoes. I quickly calmed down, my mind racing, "In any case... let's get out of here first"

It is definitely too late to go buy them now! There is quite a distance from here to home, and I still need to buy dance shoes, so there is not enough time.

"Even if it is meaningless, at least I have made an effort!" Chen Ke said, "At least... at least it will feel a bit better in my heart"

A sudden pang of sorrow struck my heart, my nose felt a bit dry, and my eyes were tinged with redness

"Have you finally decided to face it?" Liu Wen let out a sigh of relief, "Are you going to tell him?"

Good

Have you seen her already?" Chen Ke asked

All the grievances surged to my heart, as if to vehemently deny something, to escape from something. I shouted, "Why are you asking me? It is clearly all your fault!"

"Go find the needle and thread, Chen Ke, go find the needle and thread." There is no other way, time is too tight, and Chen Ke is unwilling to ask anyone else, so I can only repair the dance shoes.

"Lan Xin, did you not continue dancing later on?" Mo Yuchen was currently looking outside the glass door

At that time, I was truly very scared, so I did not dare to mention the issue of the dance shoes to the dance teacher until Mo Yuchen appeared

Finally, Guo Jiani could no longer contain herself. She sighed and asked me earnestly, "Lan Xin, what are you in such a hurry for?"

In the sixth grade, the dance teacher helped Mo Yuchen, who was the best dancer, to register for a prestigious dance competition. She lived up to expectations by advancing through the preliminary and semi-final rounds, ultimately reaching the finals

Liu Wen set her phone aside, reached out to cup my face, and looked straight into my eyes: "Lan Xin, do not let those who care about you feel sad. Jian Ni and I are here, we are not going anywhere, we are all with you"

But I have come this far, and I cannot back down. No matter what, I must remind Mo Yuchen that her dance shoes are broken

"However, the method of atonement does not include telling Yu Chen about the past, is that correct?" I found myself feeling somewhat angry, angry that Chen Ke could think this way, "Don't joke around. If you can't even say a single 'I'm sorry' to her, then atonement is utterly meaningless."

"How could this happen?" In the hospital corridor, Chen Ke's complexion was extremely poor, her hand gripping my arm trembled. She asked me, "Lan Xin, why has it come to this? The dance shoes... the dance shoes..."

Mo Yuchen sat down in front of me, smiling as he said: "It has been many years since we last met, hasn't it? Lan Xin, you are still as lovely as you were back then; it feels like you haven't changed much at all. I recognized you at a glance."

I think perhaps I should apologize to Mo Yuchen. But will she forgive me

Because I have studied physiology, I quickly realized that I had my period

I was surprised to learn that she, along with Mo Yuchen, attended the same school as me. This revelation came at the end of the second semester of the first grade, when the teacher praised the student who ranked first in the grade and invited her to the stage to say a few words. When I saw that the person walking onto the stage was Chen Ke, I gasped in astonishment

"Regardless of what you have done in the past, we only know that the Lan Xin we know is worthy of being treated as a friend." Guo Jiani said with a smile as she walked over to me

But I know that Chen Ke will definitely have insomnia tonight. Just like I do now. I am currently lying in bed, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.

After all, she is Mo Yuchen

At that time, what did Xu Muchen think when I said those words? Did he take it seriously? Will he keep his distance from me from now on?

At that time, there was only one person in the class who looked down on me. She was a girl with short hair, very unconventional, always going about on her own. I found her quite strange and always wanted to tease her. Neither of us expected that one day we would become friends. That girl was Mo Yuchen

Regardless of for whom or for what, I must take action

I shook my head

On the way to the competition venue, both Chen Ke and I were very nervous, fearing that Mo Yuchen would notice that the shoes were damaged. However, I also secretly hoped that she would discover it, as that would mean she wouldn't wear those dance shoes.

While organizing, I discovered that a dress was not mine. After some thought, I remembered that this dress was borrowed from Xu Muchen during my last visit to his home. At that time, I promised to wash it and return it to him, but shortly thereafter, a series of events occurred that caused me to forget about this matter.

In the past, every time I recalled this place, I could not continue to think further, but this time, I did not evade it

To reward her for reaching the finals, Mo Yuchen's family gifted her a brand new set of dance costumes and shoes. They were the most beautiful dance costumes and shoes I had ever seen

I repeatedly say in my heart

If we can continue to walk forward in such a pure and joyful manner, then we will surely become the best of friends in the world. At that time, I held this belief steadfastly.

Why? I looked at Chen Ke in confusion

They did not give up on someone like me, and they are still willing to make me laugh and accompany me in my antics, which truly moves me

04

I am at A University. I find it somewhat difficult to look directly into her clear eyes

I originally intended to speak up, but the next moment, she stealthily opened Mo Yuchen's locker and took out that pair of new dance shoes

As the end of the semester approaches, the professor outlines the key points for the exam in almost every class. Despite the importance of this course, I find it difficult to concentrate.

I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry

A sudden pain struck my heart. Mo Yuchen, if you knew about the mistake that Chen Ke and I made that year, which caused you to lose something so important, would you still show such an ecstatic expression upon seeing me at this moment?

When Mo Yuchen came down from the stage, her face was filled with a sense of regret. She walked past me, and I wanted to reach out and grab her, but I only touched the hem of her dress, which felt cool to the touch

A large part of my heart feels empty, and no matter what I do, I cannot fill it. I know that there once lived a boy named Xu Muchen in that space.

I am twelve years old this year

Chen Ke ... ... I instinctively called out to her, as I felt that if she continued to exert force, she would damage those dance shoes

What should I tell her? Tell her that her original life has already been destroyed by us, but we will strive to atone and work hard to earn her forgiveness. Chen Ke shook her head, saying, "She will not forgive, no one would forgive in her place. Lan Xin, if that is the case, we will lose even the opportunity for atonement. I came to you to inform you about Yu Chen, simply to give you a chance to atone."

I have forgotten how that argument ended; later, I returned home and sat alone in the darkness for an entire night

Hmm. I nodded vigorously and said, "I will go, someday."

Thank you for not abandoning me during my most difficult times

What kind of decision will Chen Ke make? If she refuses to tell Mo Yuchen about that matter, what should I do? Should I learn from Chen Ke's example and silently atone, or should I bravely stand in front of Mo Yuchen and sincerely say I'm sorry?

I am so fortunate that she did not look at me; otherwise, she would surely have noticed my abnormality

Am I so scared that I wet my pants? I am extremely panicked, and I took a furtive glance, seeing a patch of red.

I... I just think it looks really good and want to see what it looks like when worn" Chen Ke said in a flustered manner, completely lacking her usual pretense.

Lan Xin ... ... "Guo Jiani looked at me with a face full of concern

"Not yet, it is not possible now," I said softly

My heart is racing extremely fast, and a sense of guilt, as if I have done something wrong, is surging up within me

"Have a glass of water." Mo Yuchen enthusiastically poured a glass of water and handed it to me

Yes, I like him. This time I openly admitted it, I stopped in my tracks, unable to take another step forward, I like him!

Chen Ke, this is not acceptable, is it? I looked into her eyes and said, "We should tell her, she has the right to know"

I am afraid to see Chen Ke, afraid to see Xu Muchan, and even just thinking about it makes my limbs feel cold and my stomach ache as if it will swallow me whole. Therefore, I no longer recall the past and no longer see Chen Ke. I stopped learning to dance. At that time, my mother did not understand, especially since I could not provide a reason, but she respected me and did not force me.

That is merely self-deception, a desire for self-satisfaction, believing that one has already made an effort. But it is not like that, Chen Ke, I do not agree with your approach

Those two individuals can be distinguished as Xu Muchen and Luo Ningning just by looking at their silhouettes

Chen Ke's body stiffened for a moment, her hands trembling slightly. Her emotions were evident; she must be very nervous right now

I cannot recall when it was that I became unwilling to think about that matter, instead locking that secret deep within my heart, avoiding it, not confronting it, and allowing time to gradually bury it. Yet I never considered that those fearful emotions would also gradually settle within my heart, until now, transforming into an insurmountable obstacle for me.

This secret has been hidden in my heart for a very long time, so long that it has almost merged with my soul, which is why I do not allow myself to be with Xu Muchen

In my first year of high school, I was in the same class as Xu Muchan. That period was the most painful time of my life. Because Xu Muchan was always present, whether I looked down or looked up, I would constantly recall the past, remembering that sense of guilt, that heavy emotion, which nearly crushed me. It was a fear that had accumulated over many years, and I allowed it to grow until I could no longer face it myself

How wonderful, she is Mo Yuchen

What should we do?" Chen Ke held the broken pair of dance shoes in her arms, "Rain Chen is going to wear these dance shoes for the competition later!

I turned all the clothes inside out and slowly discarded the garments that I would no longer wear

What is your decision? I looked into her eyes and asked

I believe Xu Muchen is not that kind of person. Guo Jiani gently tugged at Liu Wen's sleeve, signaling her not to say such things

Then, let me tell you a story. I finally have the urge to narrate the story that has been buried deep in my heart for seven years.

Bang

When leaving, she asked me to stay a little longer, saying that Chen Ke had no classes in the afternoon and might come over. I declined Mo Yuchen's invitation on the grounds that I had a class in the afternoon

I learned from Chen Ke that you were here, so I came to see you

I have forgotten which day it was when we began our conversation; she would still call my name arrogantly, yet the expression in her eyes had already become very friendly and kind

"Everything is fine, right? Those two people are quite a match!" I smiled and said, "When they walk together, it feels like the whole world has lit up."

I suddenly hesitated; I did not want to embarrass myself in front of that outstanding young man. I cannot just walk in like this; my current appearance cannot be seen by Xu Muchen

It was clearly my own choice to push him away, and it was I who decided to be just friends with him. I have no right to care about who he is with, nor do I have the right to feel jealous.

Since then, I have been living in self-blame. If only I had not been afraid of losing face and had told Mo Yuchen about the dance shoes that day. It was because of such a trivial reason that I ruined a girl's future

There are many people in the background, and the light is much brighter than outside. As soon as I walk in, everyone will notice a small red bloodstain on my white lace dress

I felt extremely anxious in my heart, and I gritted my teeth, intending to walk in. But at that moment, a person appeared in my line of sight

Yet my secret is actually very small, but that tiny secret is a chasm that I have been unable to cross despite seven years of effort. Initially, it was worry, then it became fear, and later it turned into a trembling dread of being discovered

That day in the hospital room, we argued fiercely. Since we met, we had never quarreled like that. We exposed each other's flaws and attacked one another with the most cruel words. Hasn't it been said that sometimes the only person who can hurt you is the one closest to you? Perhaps we merely transformed our fear into anger, thinking that this would allow us to no longer feel guilty

Once, Xu Muchen told me that liking someone without pursuing them must be because the affection is too shallow

"Lan Xin, I am Lu Lan Xin." I took a deep breath and said with a smile, "I have come to see you."

At this moment, Mo Yuchen's voice came from outside: "Lan Xin, Chen Ke, where are you?"

I did not answer the phone, and Liu Wen held the phone up in front of me; the caller ID displayed Xu Muchen.

Alright

What is Chen Ke doing with Mo Yuchen's dance shoes? I am somewhat curious, and I hesitated for a moment and did not call out to her. I watched as Chen Ke began to put on those dance shoes, but her feet are larger than Mo Yuchen's, so she struggled to wear them.

On the day of the new semester, amidst the crowd, I inadvertently caught sight of Xu Muchan. He has grown up and changed a lot compared to that time, yet I recognized him immediately.

After breaking up with Chen Ke at the entrance of the coffee shop, I returned to school, while Chen Ke went to Mo Yuchen's place. I do not know if Chen Ke can still pretend to be nonchalant and greet her, chat with her when she sees Mo Yuchen today

I have never seen someone like Chen Ke; she is always exceptionally proud, carrying a hint of arrogance, yet deep down, she is very gentle.

After completing all of this, Chen Ke and I secretly ran out of the changing room

In that moment, I was unsure of what I was truly thinking. I suddenly grabbed Chen Ke and pulled her into the gap between the lockers in the changing room.

At that time, the three of us, Chen Ke, Mo Yuchen, and I, were always playing together

I secretly stood up, intending to go backstage to tell Mo Yuchen not to wear those dance shoes. At that moment, I felt a warm flow coming from beneath me, and I was so frightened that I quickly sat back down

She looked at me in astonishment, and I looked at her in confusion

03

I ultimately returned to my seat in a dejected manner, praying in my heart that Mo Yuchen's pair of dance shoes would not have any issues, and hoping that Chen Ke's craftsmanship was solid enough

I know that Guo Jiani is considerate of my feelings

Unable to sleep, I simply got out of bed

After getting to know her, I realized that she has a very strong sense of self-esteem, as she is unwilling to let others know that her family is poor and looks down on her, which makes her feel out of place

Indeed, this was also my dream when I was young. Mo Yuchen's gaze became very gentle, very content, "At that time, I thought, if I cannot become a professional dancer, I will open a charming little shop, selling everything, with everything being the most beautiful and the most fun.

If you knew what I had done wrong in the past, would you still consider me a friend? I asked softly

Indeed, among the three of us, the bravest is still you, Lanxin. " Chen Ke chuckled self-deprecatingly, "It turns out that the one who is unwilling to face things properly is myself

Why? I am somewhat perplexed. If that is the case, then why did she come to find me? She wants to treat that matter as if it never happened; why did she come to find me in the first place?

As I fold the clothes, I reminisce about what has transpired in my life over the past few years

Upon arriving at the venue for the competition, Chen Ke and I were taken to the audience seats by the dance instructor

In that match, Mo Yuchen was defeated due to her dance shoes breaking midway. Many people are discussing Yuchen's situation, and everyone feels it is particularly regrettable, as she was highly favored at the beginning. If she had secured first place, she could have become a professional ballet dancer

I need to think carefully about how to tell her those secrets that are deeply hidden in my heart

"Will you go?" Liu Wen asked, "One day for sure"

This hesitation caused me to lose the best opportunity. When Xu Muchen came out, I instinctively turned around and hid myself in the shadows. Xu Muchen did not notice me. The backstage door was closed by someone, and I could not enter.

The root cause of all this is none other than Chen Ke and myself. Chen Ke damaged the dance shoes, and I helped to conceal it. I had mustered the courage to go backstage, yet out of fear of losing face in front of Xu Muchan, I did not inform Mo Yuchen about the damage to the dance shoes

Once the final exams are over, the winter vacation will arrive. Last year's winter vacation, I took the same bus home with Xu Muchan. At that time, he kindly helped me with my luggage. Looking back now, I can only feel that those memories are bittersweet

It feels as if a fire is burning within me, making me extremely anxious and restless.

"Don't ... ..." Chen Ke grabbed my hand, preventing me from going out, "Don't tell anyone!"

I quietly accepted it

"Lan Xin, your phone." Liu Wen stood beside me, holding my phone. She did not urge me; she simply said softly, "You don't tell us anything, and we don't know how we can help you."

What should I do now? My first period comes at such a terrible time.

A wave of guilt surged over me as I sat in my seat, sweating profusely due to extreme nervousness. My stomach was cramping painfully, and I endured the intense pain while sitting there. By the time the competition ended, the stomach ache combined with the onset of my first menstrual period had drained all color from my face.

02

"You have to trust him," Guo Jiani sighed. "If you don't ask anything and don't say anything, nothing will progress. To solve a problem, we must communicate with each other, right?"

Indeed, I have not jumped since elementary school. After realizing what my unintentional mistake had truly destroyed, I found myself unable to continue jumping.

I have not seen Mo Yuchen again, and Chen Ke and I suddenly lost all contact with her

"Come in and take a look." At that moment, a cheerful voice sounded in my ear, and immediately after, the glass door was pulled open from the inside

Chen Ke has not spoken for a long time. Perhaps Chen Ke never thought of telling Mo Yuchen that seven years ago, at the ballet competition, the reason she missed out on the championship was entirely our fault

It is perhaps the most egregious act to merely allow oneself to feel that one has atoned for their sins

I turned on the night light, intending to tidy up my belongings

She didn't tell me at all. That guy Chen Ke is really something! Mo Yuchen said with a smile, "She often comes here to help me. It would be great if she could come today. The three of us can have a good get-together."

If one does not attend the dance class, one naturally will not encounter Xu Muchan, who comes to pick up Xu You'er after class

I need to put in more effort to catch up, so that I can shorten the seven years of time that separates us